Shut Up and Live It!!

This is a motto that I sometimes think in my head when people talk about what they do. I think just live it, don't talk about it. With that said I apologize for what I am about to write and you have permission to say to me, shut up and live it!!

I am a driver for the Road to Recovery program through the American Caner Society. I drive people who do not have a ride to their radiation or chemo appointments. I chose to do this when I read a flyer about the program at our local Starbucks and could not fathom the thought of someone being alone through their fight with cancer. I imagined my own dad not having a support system when he went through cancer and I knew that God put me in front of that flyer for a reason. So long story short I have begun driving my first patient, who I will call Jane. Jane is alone. I've signed many privacy policies so even though I have changed her name I will not go into her story but when I say that she is alone, I mean alone. When I picked her up this week I could see just how much the radiation was taking a toll on her body and it was difficult for me to keep it together until our ride was over. Last week I asked her if she needed any help around the house or grocery shopping and being that she is a pretty independent woman she said no, but I asked her again this week and she said yes there were some limbs in her back yard that needed pruning and so we set a time for us to come over. Shane and the kids and I and my mom and dad loaded up the tools and rakes and thankfully the leaf blower and headed to Jane's house. We were in the middle of her backyard all raking leaves and I was just struck in that moment by God's faithfulness to Jane. Here we were virtual strangers cleaning her gutters, raking leaves, taking care of the widow in her distress. It was not a church outreach, it was not a mission trip, it was simply a family whose life was affected by the words cancer helping another whose life was affected by the same diagnosis. I have twice now spoken at Worship Defined sharing the reality of the orphan crisis and the lack of clean water in places like Haiti and other third world countries. I educate myself on human trafficking, the war in Uganda, organizations like World Vision and Samaritans Purse and all the while, not a mile from my own home is a woman facing a disease that may take her life all alone. A woman who hugs my children and wants me to come visit her, a woman who needs me to take one hour out of my week to drive her to the hospital. A woman who God has not forgotten. They are out there, look for them, find them, shut up and live it!!

My Sweet Maris

So Maris just came out of her room before getting in bed to tell me of a moment she recently had with a friend. She felt that one of her friends liked her other friends more than her because of something she did and she was getting a little teary and I was holding her not really sure what to say, I really think it was a misunderstanding but I know in her little heart it felt big and I was hugging her and thinking I wish I could protect her from every hurt and how on earth am I going to make it through the teenage years and wondering if I could protect her forever and loving her more than I think possible and I kissed her and I asked her if she showed that she was upset when it happened and she said no, she didn't want the girl to feel bad so she did not react, just held it in. Then I told her that she gets to be a good friend and not react and still treat her the same as she always has. Then she brushed her teeth and I met her in her room and she said, "mom, I'm going to be like God. Because God forgives us even when we don't ask for forgiveness and I am just going to forgive her." My sweet Maris, I wish I was more like you.

Worship For Orphans

God is doing such amazing things right now I am simply overwhelmed. Tuesday night is Worship for Orphans and I am feeling so little compared to the magnitude of how big the God I serve is. I believe He is calling His church to answer the orphan crisis, yet not the church as an institution but individually. Our goal for the night first and foremost is to glorify our Father as he has chosen us to be a part of His "forever family" and then to tell our brothers and sisters a little about the estimated 143 million orphans, giving tangible ideas in how we can be a part of the remedy.

On Sunday November 8th at Dayspring in Keizer at 2:00 we will be able to watch the live feed of Orphan Sunday. visit www.orphansunday.org for more info!!

Then on November 13th and 14th is "Voices, a collection of dances bringing to life stories of adoption and foster care" at the KROC Center Theatre. I will be sharing our adoption story at the event and am sooooo excited for this!!

I told you He is moving His people!!!

Peter and Pslam 126

This is going to be a confusing post and I apologize a head of time for that, perhaps it will be clarified soon.

The month of August was supposed to be a month that both Shane and I prayed about something that we were not seeing eye to eye on. Not a fight in any way, not even a disagreement, but a big family decision. We started the month with me saying, "I'll pray for you" and his response..."and I'll pray for you" :) The month went different than I expected, I found the Lord drawing me closer to Him and less answering the question that I so desperately wanted Him to answer. It was a great month, don't get me wrong, Worship Defined really came together and the Lord was beyond faithful with that and the friendships that have come out of that are so precious to me right now. But there is still this thing. So I took a big step with that thing and sorta put out a fleece, which I have never done and well, it will really, really be God if this happens because this is a huge fleece. I'm sure Gideon thought his fleece was huge too:)

Well today at church during the sermon something made me think of Peter and, as usual lately, Psalm 126. Psalm 126 is a word from the Lord that I was pretty sure referred to this thing and I say it in my head a lot thinking it means something and today I wondered if it might not mean something else.
Psalm 126

1When the LORD brought back the captive ones of Zion,
We were like those who dream.
2Then our mouth was filled with laughter
And our tongue with joyful shouting;
Then they said among the nations,
"The LORD has done great things for them."
3The LORD has done great things for us;
We are glad.
4Restore our captivity, O LORD,
As the streams in the South.
5Those who sow in tears shall reap with joyful shouting.
6He who goes to and fro weeping, carrying his bag of seed,
Shall indeed come again with a shout of joy, bringing his sheaves with him.

So this has been a confirmation to me of sorts for the thing:). (I will get back to Peter, promise) This is the 7th song of ascent, a song of joy following the sorrows of long separation. Tonight I see this as the answer to a completely different question. Peter. I love Peter for his failings, I am so full of failings and yet the Lord restored Peter after his denial just as he restores me. I thought of Jesus by the fire this morning, asking Peter if He loved Him and then meeting him where he was and simply asking, Peter do you like me? (Agape and Phileo love) Malia do you like me? I want to always answer the love question with yes but lets be honest sometimes my actions show more like than love. I think this is why I am in love with All That I Can say by Crowder, its so honest and raw... "Lord I'm tired, so tired from walking and Lord I'm so alone... this is all that i can say right now and this is all that I can give...that's my everything...Did you see me crying? oh and did you hear me call Your Name? wasn't it You I gave my heart to? I wish You'd remember where You set it down...I didn't notice You were standing here, didn't know that that was You holding me, I didn't notice You were crying too, I didn't know that that was You washing my feet..." It has been a weird last couple months for me, sorrowful, disillusioned, hopeful, blessed, separated, lost, found, lonely, filled. Anyway, I felt this Psalm was for me, for my heart, a part of my story that marks change, return from captivity, of rescue. I pray it is an answer to both, but I am content for it to be the answer to one. I like that I feel this way before laying out this fleece, peaceful.

And by the way I will only need one fleece, Shane may need two!!

Worship for Water

Last night was we had an incredible time of worship at the amphitheater and our first Worship Defined event. Check out our blog for pictures. www.worshipdefined.blogspot.com

My Book Report

I have been reading a lot lately. Our five channels seem to be sensing that it is quite possible that come June 12th they will no longer be with us as they are much blurrier than usual. So I have decided to read more. Last year I read "Girl Soldier: A Story of Hope for Northern Uganda's Children" by Grace Akallo and Faith J.H. McDonnell. It was one of those books that changes your world view once again and opens your eyes not only to the evil that is in the heart of man but more importantly the hope that we have in Christ of overcoming atrocities that our beyond imagination. Grace's story is one of tens of thousands, I think that's what makes it so very difficult to read. Anyway so this time when we went to Hawaii I bought, "A Long Way Gone: Memoirs of a Boy Soldier" by Ishmael Beah. (his website is http://www.alongwaygone.com/) It is the story of a young boy's journey from an innocent child to a child soldier. If you have ever wondered how it is possible for a child to turn into a killing machine then you need to read this book. Well actually you need to read this book even if you have never wondered. There was a point while reading that my tears so blurred my vision that I could no longer see the words. As I closed the book I prayed asking the Lord how could this happen. I told him I could not take anymore, His gentle loving whisper filled my mind, "Just because you can't read it does not make it go away. Whether or not you finish this book does not change Ishmael's life. The story must be told." So I continued to read. The hard part of reading books like these is the knowledge that the recruitment of child soldiers is happening right now across Africa. This should horrify us. Push us to some sort of action. Is it not our responsibility as the Church to fulfill the words of Isaiah, which Jesus himself began His ministry with, "The Spirit of the Lord is upon Me, because He has anointed Me to preach the gospel to the poor; He has sent me to heal the brokenhearted , to proclaim liberty to the captives and recovery of sight to the blind, to set at liberty those who are oppressed; to proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord." It is hard to know what to do when you are a half a world away from the conflict but as the Lord spoke to my heart it does not go away just because we look the other way. Because our life is safe and comfortable does not mean that there is a world in need of, not only a Savior, but the hands and feet of those who have already accepted that Savior. We are the wealthiest church in history here in America and with that comes huge responsibility, just read Revelation and the letters to the churches, He expects much of us. I'll step down off the soap box now, but leave you with some of my favorite world changing organizations. http://www.worldvision.org/ and http://www.invisiblechildren.com/ . One more book that will not let you sleep at night and will start a fire in your soul, "The Hole in our Gospel", I'm on page 229, almost done. Here are some excerpts to get you hooked, "The First reformation... was about creeds; this one's going to be about our deeds. The first one divided the church; this time it will unify the church." Rick Warren. "When our churches become spiritual spas in which we retreat from the world, our salt loses its saltiness, and we are no longer able to impact the culture." Richard Stearns. "Sometimes I would like to ask God why He allows poverty, suffering, and injustice when He could do something about it." "Well why don't you ask him?" "Because I'm afraid He would ask me the same question." Anonymous. One more... "The poverty of our century is unlike that of any other. It is not, as poverty was before, the result of natural scarcity, but of a set or priorities imposed upon the rest of the world by the rich. Consequently, the modern poor are not pitied...but written off as trash. The twentieth-century consumer economy has produced the first culture for which a beggar is a reminder of nothing." John Berger.
The author is Richard Stearns, president of World Vision, and in this book he gives statistics that I still can't fully wrap my head around. "26,575 children die each day of largely preventable causes related to their poverty." Buy the book, borrow mine, become educated, see the need and our abundance and lets love our neighbor as Christ has commanded. www.theholeinourgospel.com

A Few More...

Paddle Boarding So Much Fun!!!

Aloha

Maui No Ka Oi

Our attempt at a sand castle!!

Shaka, Shaka, Shaka!!

Hilo

We are finally here and having so much fun!! We flew in on Friday and Saturday morning my parents and I flew to Hilo for my cousin Bradley's wedding. It was so wonderful to see my cousins and Uncles and Aunties that I have not seen in so long. The wedding was beautiful and I always love seeing my dad with his brothers, his laugh in Hawaii is like no other. We got to hang out with old friends too and again laughed until we teared up, I soooo love being in Hilo. From the moment we landed it just feels so good to come home. Here are some pics Kela, you won't believe how big BJ is!!!


Me and BJ

Da Bruddahs Kruse

The Newly Weds

My cousins Nicole and Jasmine

Kahea and his kids, Bishop and Rachel

Hilo gang... Kela that is Eisha next to Cheryl!!

Still Here...

It has been so long since I have posted... Christmas has come and gone, and a new year with new re-solutions and new adventures is upon us. It is late and we had a great day at OMSI and I am tired and Kruse has basketball pictures at 7:30 am on Saturday!!! Seriously, they are 5!!! I only have a few Christmas pics on the computer and it seems like so long ago but for my loved ones stretched from Hawaii to North and South Carolina, these are for you:

and a little wrestling



And as I sit here freezing cold with the obnoxious sound of the fan on the fireplace trying desperately to warm a house that has had no fire or heat all day and the stench of dusty baseboard heat lingering from attempting to remove the chill from the kids room's I can only think of one thing...

Yes, those are hot Leonard's malasadas, yes, Shane and I ate the whole box, yes, I will be in Hawaii in 6 weeks, yes, I am running 3 miles a day in preparation, and yes, this is the only picture of both Shane and I last time we were in Hawaii...

Yes, I can endure 6 more weeks of fire building for this!