Peter and Pslam 126

This is going to be a confusing post and I apologize a head of time for that, perhaps it will be clarified soon.

The month of August was supposed to be a month that both Shane and I prayed about something that we were not seeing eye to eye on. Not a fight in any way, not even a disagreement, but a big family decision. We started the month with me saying, "I'll pray for you" and his response..."and I'll pray for you" :) The month went different than I expected, I found the Lord drawing me closer to Him and less answering the question that I so desperately wanted Him to answer. It was a great month, don't get me wrong, Worship Defined really came together and the Lord was beyond faithful with that and the friendships that have come out of that are so precious to me right now. But there is still this thing. So I took a big step with that thing and sorta put out a fleece, which I have never done and well, it will really, really be God if this happens because this is a huge fleece. I'm sure Gideon thought his fleece was huge too:)

Well today at church during the sermon something made me think of Peter and, as usual lately, Psalm 126. Psalm 126 is a word from the Lord that I was pretty sure referred to this thing and I say it in my head a lot thinking it means something and today I wondered if it might not mean something else.
Psalm 126

1When the LORD brought back the captive ones of Zion,
We were like those who dream.
2Then our mouth was filled with laughter
And our tongue with joyful shouting;
Then they said among the nations,
"The LORD has done great things for them."
3The LORD has done great things for us;
We are glad.
4Restore our captivity, O LORD,
As the streams in the South.
5Those who sow in tears shall reap with joyful shouting.
6He who goes to and fro weeping, carrying his bag of seed,
Shall indeed come again with a shout of joy, bringing his sheaves with him.

So this has been a confirmation to me of sorts for the thing:). (I will get back to Peter, promise) This is the 7th song of ascent, a song of joy following the sorrows of long separation. Tonight I see this as the answer to a completely different question. Peter. I love Peter for his failings, I am so full of failings and yet the Lord restored Peter after his denial just as he restores me. I thought of Jesus by the fire this morning, asking Peter if He loved Him and then meeting him where he was and simply asking, Peter do you like me? (Agape and Phileo love) Malia do you like me? I want to always answer the love question with yes but lets be honest sometimes my actions show more like than love. I think this is why I am in love with All That I Can say by Crowder, its so honest and raw... "Lord I'm tired, so tired from walking and Lord I'm so alone... this is all that i can say right now and this is all that I can give...that's my everything...Did you see me crying? oh and did you hear me call Your Name? wasn't it You I gave my heart to? I wish You'd remember where You set it down...I didn't notice You were standing here, didn't know that that was You holding me, I didn't notice You were crying too, I didn't know that that was You washing my feet..." It has been a weird last couple months for me, sorrowful, disillusioned, hopeful, blessed, separated, lost, found, lonely, filled. Anyway, I felt this Psalm was for me, for my heart, a part of my story that marks change, return from captivity, of rescue. I pray it is an answer to both, but I am content for it to be the answer to one. I like that I feel this way before laying out this fleece, peaceful.

And by the way I will only need one fleece, Shane may need two!!