Altars

Exodus 20:24b says, "Build altars in the places where I remind you who I AM, and I will come and bless you there." Our son Kruse's middle name is an altar, Ikaika i ka Ho'omana which means "Strength to Worship". I am not sure why I feel compelled to write this tonight, if this is for someone who reads the blog or for myself, but for some reason I know that I am to write this tonight and if there is one thing I have learned through "the well box" it is that when God speaks I want to obey.
On June 25th 2002 I had an ultrasound for our second child whom I have named Maluhia Lani, "Heavenly Peace". We found out on that day that our baby preceded us to Heaven. I had had friends who had miscarried and always ached for them but never really understood the pain of losing a baby. There are no words to describe the loss...nothing. My heart was broken but just as He always does (if we let Him) God met me where I was and brought Shane and I to a place of truly understanding "worship".
"The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away. Blessed be the Name of the Lord."-Job1:21b
As we drove from the Doctor's office to the hospital for another ultrasound to make sure that there was indeed no heartbeat, we sat in silence but I could hear the words in my head "Here we are standing in Your presence worshipping You, worshipping You. You are greater than the ocean, You are bigger than the sky, You are stronger than the river, there's nobody else who loves me like You do...here we are"
This was a Tuesday, they could not get me in for a D & C until the following Monday...for 6 days I was a living tomb for my unborn child. I walked around, went to the grocery store, to work, and to church knowing that my child was in my womb...dead. My life was changed in two huge ways once at church and once at Safeway.
I stood in the checkout line like a zombie, knowing we needed groceries but wanting to be crying on the couch at home. I stood there and looked at those around me as if the world was in slow motion. God was with me in line. I remember glancing around and thinking they have no idea, they look at me and have know idea that death is literally inside of me. It was in that moment that I have never looked at anyone the same...God showed me at Safeway that I have no idea the pain behind a face. Does their dad have cancer, has her husband left her for another woman, has she been trying to have a baby for years, was she abused as a child, can he not walk away from an addiction, did his father die without them ever reconciling. When I see people now who are angry, I no longer am annoyed by their rudeness, I wonder what happened to you today? When I see someone with the hollow look I am sure was in my own eyes, I say a prayer for whatever hurt they are facing. There is a world of hurting people and they are all around us if we choose to see them and sometimes a smile and a silent prayer is all we can give.
Church was a tough one. No one knew I was pregnant and after losing the baby I did not want to say anything except to immediate family. So on Sunday morning I went to church with a plastic smile and stood to sing our first praise song, "I'm trading my sorrows, I'm trading my shame, I'm laying them down for the joy of the Lord. I'm trading my sickness, I'm trading my pain..." Obviously God and Shane had met in the process of him working out his worship set and there I was starting to sing, when again the world moved to slow motion and tears filled my eyes and I stopped, unable to sing the words if I did not mean them. In that moment I knew a choice was to be made, am I going to praise the God who could have saved my child, who could have breathed life and stopped death. Can I stand here and truly worship with my hand on my womb. Can I say "Yes, Yes, Lord" to this? It was a moment in time that I knew I would never be the same, the beginning of a journey to the true meaning of worship that I would trade nothing for, not even a miracle. I would never have chosen to lose a baby, never wish it on anyone, yet at the same time would not trade the months of closeness with my Savior that the loss allowed. He surrounded me with Hope (thus the name of our daughter) in the midst of grief and gave me a compassion that I would never have understood otherwise and best of all He gave me a vision, of nail scarred hands holding a tiny, precious baby.

My Girls

I truly can't get over all the blessings of this journey!! Tonight my girls Miss McKenna and Miss Morgan brought me a cup of money for the well box. They, along with their friends Rayna and Hailey, raised money by having a lemonade stand at their house. I am so proud of you girls for doing something. That is what we have learned through all of this that whatever we can do is better than doing nothing at all...and because of all those little somethings we are going to do one very big thing!! Adding the girls $19.26 we are now at $4799.17

Thanks Grandma & Grandpa W

Grandma Cynthia and Grandpa Terry also had a "change jar". Apparantly this is something people do, Shane and I on the other hand enjoy our 44 ounce sodas with our spare change.
Anyways, not only did the parentals give us all of their change...they also matched it making their total contribution $198.36!!! On Saturday we were $1,000 away and today we are only $610.09 away, that was only 3 days ago! New total...$4779.91

I don't even know what to say...

So after our wonderful time at church and my awe of God's faithfulness we grabbed some lunch and hit the sand volley ball court for another tourney. While we were playing my Mom and Cynthia went to an open house in the area and began chatting with the realtor there. She was telling them about another house that was rather expensive and Cynthia said something about it being out of her price range and the realtor said dreams start somewhere (or something to that extent). Cynthia says yes they do let me tell you about my granddaughter's dream and goes on to tell her about The Well Box and how it started with a 6 year old and that the well would be through World Vision. Turns out that she is a World Vision sponsor and wants to write a check to The Well Box...and she does for $100!! A complete stranger to us until today!

This wonderful woman's name is Roz Anderson and she works for Remax. (if anyone is buying or selling a house you just might give her a call) Roz thank you sooo very much for your generosity I am truly overwhelmed. (And by the way I bought Three Cups of Tea 3 months ago and have not had the time to start it, until tonight, I am on chapter 2 and already inspired.)

Again I have to say that this journey has been so incredible as I see again the faithfulness of our Lord as we say "ok God this is big but You are bigger" and if we take that first small step He meets us right there with more than we could have ever asked or imagined...$4581.55!!

SPEECHLESS

It is not often that I find myself speechless, but that is exactly what happened this morning at church, I was speechless and brought to tears.
When I first pulled into the parking lot I saw Daryl and Kathy's grandkids playing on the playground and thought it was nice they were here and must be visiting for the day. After Praise instead of greeting right away we found out that Bryce and Summer (the grandkids) were going to play their fiddles for us, not out of the ordinary as they have done this at church before. I sat next to Damaris and smiled as I listened to these incredibly gifted children play a song. Then my dad came up and said that Bryce (11) and Summer (9) had seen on the Internet that there were many children in the world dying because of unclean water and immediately the tears filled my eyes as I knew that Kathy must have shown them The Well Box. Do you know what these children did? They told their parents that they wanted to help because they did not want children to die and so they made a sign "Playin for Water", made a jar with a slit on the top, and took their fiddles to the Saturday Market and played for four hours to raise money for The Well Box and they made $170.00!!! Can you even believe that? I am constantly humbled by the innocent faith of children who see a need and figure out a way to meet it. We have so much to learn from them. Thank you Bryce and Summer for listening to the Lord and having the faith to step out and make a difference! New total...$4481.55!

Holy Can!

We just did the math of how many cans we have taken back so far, are you ready...6,249!!! That is completely insane!!

GET OUT!!

Shane and Emmy were off to the Can Do machine again tonight with the bags from the barn and 8 new bags from Emmy's neighbors. They barely all fit into the Explorer so we knew it would be more than last time and it was $103.90!! That is an incredible amount of cans and thanks to Sharon at Fred Meyer we are adding $104 to the well box (she gave them an extra dime to make it even) making our grand total to date...$4311.05. I never expected to raise this much so quickly, I thought this would take us a few years to accomplish. Huge THANK YOU to all who have helped us, prayed for us, donated cans, ate our food, donated cash, bought our stuff, and donated stuff. This entire journey has taught us so much about faith, community, and being willing to step out of the ordinary to accomplish the extraordinary. We are only a little over $1,000 away...get out!!

More Cans and Crazy Kids

The plan this evening was for Emmy to come over for dinner and then we, Shane, the kids, Emmy, and I would go to the Can DO machine together. However, my children have turned into loud, overly excited, animated little turbos lately and there was no way I was taking them in public. So I wrestled them to bed and Shane and Em faced the icky, sticky machine without the pitter patter of hyper feet. They brought home $76.95 in under an hour...impressive. New total is $4207.05!!!

Here are some pics...notice the fire in their eyes.

Joyce the Great

Damaris received a letter from her Great Grandma Joyce today with $40 for the well box. What a blessing! She wrote Maris a letter telling her how proud she is of her and that every day someone needs help. So true we just need to have our eyes open to see them. Thank you Joyce for the gift and the reminder...$4170.10

The Change Jar

From what I understand Emmy raided her mothers gigantic change jar holding $114.55 in coins to give to the well box. That my friends is a lot of change! We are at...$4130.10 and counting.

J-LO

Jen from Shane's work was unable to come to our dinner and a movie night so she gave the well box $15 making our total...$4015.55. Thanks Jen!

I Am Mother, Sister, Friend

There are moments when the knowledge of what goes on outside of the four walls of my home is enough to send me into despair. When I stop to let the facts sink in it is overwhelming. When you read this information there will be so many reactions, anger, hate, doubt, fear, and sadness just to name a few.
I try to ask myself, what if it happened to me, what if my six year old was taken as a sex slave for tourists. I looked at Maris and really let myself go to a place I have never gone, to try imagining her with a man 30 years her senior. To see her tiny body being taken advantage of, her spirit crushed, the innocence I fight so hard to protect tore open. It sent me to a despair that was beyond what I could imagine and yet I know that there are thousands who live this nightmare everyday.
There are countless numbers of people who fight their own battle daily. They are all around us if we choose to see them and put ourselves, if only for a moment, in their shoes. Imagine being forced to kill or be killed, to be desensitized by watching a sibling or friend brutally killed in front of your eyes. To be so desperately thirsty that you are forced to drink the very water that you know may kill you. To watch “the disease” take first your father and then your mother…to fear going to the clinic because you might also be infected. To be so proud of your loved one and the sacrifice they gave and yet at the same time to miss them with every breath you take.
I urge you to truly feel these emotions, question God, your beliefs, the world as you know it. Be angry, hate the injustice, grieve the innocence that is brutally stolen, fear what is in the heart of man and what he is capable of doing, sorrow with the mothers and fathers whose children have been abducted, despair with those children forced to carry a gun, scream, cry, yell, let your soul be torn apart, there is only one thing that I beg of you to not do. It is truly the worst thing that you could do… nothing. Do not turn away, listen, do you hear their voices cry out for help. This is a part of your story now, a moment in time that you choose to act or turn away, it is entirely up to you.

“Having heard of all of this, you may choose to look the other way… but you can never say again that you did not know.” --William Wilberforce, British Politician, Abolitionist.

www.iammothersisterfriend.blogspot.com

So Funny

So you know I was all emotional about the red crib going to hold another "precious baby"...Shane told me today when the guy came to pick it up that he is using it to decorate a nursery for a model home. LOL! So much for that idea.




that's how I feel too Hope!

The Perfect Night

I was a little nervous for our evening with the high temperatures but the breeze picked up at about 6:30 and the yard was totally shaded so it was perfect. After dinner we had a water balloon toss with Emily being the wettest and Robert and Karli the champions. We decided to trade in hot smores for shave ice as we watched Cars and thanks to Grandma Cynthia we also had some "real" popcorn popped for us. We were a mixed bunch from Shane's work, the kid's school, and church, I was so blessed by all that came and chose to be a part of something so much bigger than dinner and a movie. Thank you all for your generosity we made $290 putting us at exactly $4,000.55!! (Hope just said, "mom, that movie night was sooo good!") Here are few pics of the night...

Goodbye Red Crib

We have officially sold every item listed on Craigslist today and I am saying goodbye to the beautiful red crib and changing table that Shane painted and distressed for me. I loved that crib and am happy it will be used again for another precious baby. The set sold for $50 so we are now at $3710.55!!

An Unexpected Blessing

I received a card in the mail today from the D Family, they could not make it to our dinner and a movie night tomorrow but wanted to be a part of our cause...so they sent a $50 donation. Thank you sooo much Sean, Molly, Emily and Matthew that brings us to...$3660.55!!

$100 more

We sold our last desk today for another $100 putting us up to 3610.55!!! We are scheduled for our first dinner and a movie this Friday and still have bags of cans to return. Hopefully we will break $4,000 soon. Thanks again for all your support and prayers we are going to do this!!

Every Little Bit Counts

Well we had our leftover garage sale today and it was a tad disappointing but I am reminded that every little bit does indeed count. We started out bright and early this morning and soon realized it was not going to be a busy day. The highlight was when my good friend Chris donated a love seat that sold for $50...making our total for today $77.55. We did have a little fun while bored during the garage sale and we started trying on Jack and Ben's old t-shirts (size boys medium) and decided that they should be our team uniform for our sand volleyball tourney that afternoon. Needless to say it is rather humorous to see larger grown men in a boys medium, you can check the pics at http://www.tuckerbleuphotography.blogspot.com/ and see for yourself. So as of today...$3510.05

Gotta Love Craigslist

We have added another $115.00 tonight selling Maris's beautiful hand me down crib for $15.00 and a desk donated by the C Family for $100.00. $3432.50!!

Pastor Lavaud

This wonderful man is Pastor Lavaud in Haiti and the well box has just officially bought him two new bits for the drill that he uses to dig wells in Hinche!!! And we couldn't be more excited:)

The funniest thing is we met Lavaud through the internet...kind of. Here's the story. Shortly after Kruse was born we took the fam to Hawaii so that my grandma could meet her newest grandson. We went to Oahu, home to Hilo, then ended with a week in Maui...perfect. When we came home and it took me a few payments to pay off the visa I felt the Lord asking me if I would be willing to spend as much money on a trip to serve him as I would to go on vacation. So I told Shane that the next summer I felt like God wanted us to go on a mission trip instead of a vacation. The search began...the world was at my fingertips and I googled many ideas trying to figure out where we would go. During this time we knew in our hearts that our daughter was in Haiti but we were only in the beginning of the process of adoption at that point and had no connections there at all. Meanwhile my friend Cherrie, who is adopted and who is one of my biggest supports and cheerleaders during this time, googled Haiti and read all these web sites and just felt the Lord telling her to contact this one..and so she did in a 5 page email! Seriously the next thing we know Cherrie and Emily are flying to Wisconsin and staying with strangers to meet Lavaud who is flying in from Haiti to speak at the church that supported him. Sorry, to make a long story short they loved him instantly and saw what an incredible man of God he is. So they just happen to be planning their first ever mission trip to Haiti while Shane and I are looking for a mission trip and we are adopting from Haiti, Cherrie (who is obviously crazy) and Emily are up for it, and Jon wanted to come and called Travis and the next thing we know we are on a mission trip with complete strangers to a third world country... unbelievable! There is too much to write about the trip, it changed all of our lives in many different ways. For us it was visiting the birthplace of our daughter, a country that we will love and be a part of for the rest of our lives. I cannot wait for the day when we take all three of them to experience the beauty and heartache of Haiti.

But this is about Lavaud. I loved him the moment I saw him. His smile lit up his face and he was so thankful that we were there. He was born in Haiti and went to Technical School in Wisconsin, promising the Lord that he would go back and help his native Haitians. He has certainly fulfilled his promise. Below is a picture of the school, church, community center, radio station, and the third floor is his home in Hinche. He has numerous programs to help his people be self sufficient through community gardens and giving pigs to families to raise. With the current food crisis he has been distributing food to those in need. As we were there that week, exactly four years ago, I remember thinking as I watched this gracious, humble man that he is just like Jesus. His lifestyle reflected Christ to all around him, especially the witch doctor who he gave corn and other fruits and veggies to help them grow their garden. He did not condemn, only loved and through that she accepted Christ. It is a privilege to help Lavaud whenever we can and I have loved reading his emails the last two weeks and remembering all that we experienced on that trip. The believers that we met lacked so many basic needs, but you would never know. We saw hope in every face. We played and laughed with children who had no shoes and little food and yet were so full of life and joy. They are amazing people and I am honored to have met them. Here are some pics:

Shane and Cherrie getting our first real smile out of Sandra

This is the first morning Sandra came over...

"witch doctors neighborhood" we put on a show, actually that is what Lavaud is laughing at up top...

...Travis's sweaty, hairy thighs sandwiching Shane's face to make Goliath!


And this adorable little guy sat next to me and just smiled!



THE FACTS:

Haiti is the poorest country in the western hemisphere, the third hungriest in the world. It is estimated that 300,000 Haitian children are restavecs, slaves...today. In fact the country watched as an undercover reporter made a deal to buy a child for $50...or for a mere $10,000 he could have a child with papers...in less than two weeks. Reality: our adoption process once we had a referral and a picture of Hope took 15 months. They lack clean water and most places lack electricity. Haiti needs your prayers and your attention. There are several links in the side bar of ways that you can help and Lavaud's ministry is Haiti Christian Ministry...you would be surprised at what you can do for less than $30 a month.

New total less $227 sent to Haiti is $3317.50

More Cans

Emmy brought me $23 more dollars from cans on Wednesday...and the neighbors still calling with more! Thanks Em, love ya. New Total 3544.50.