Altars

Exodus 20:24b says, "Build altars in the places where I remind you who I AM, and I will come and bless you there." Our son Kruse's middle name is an altar, Ikaika i ka Ho'omana which means "Strength to Worship". I am not sure why I feel compelled to write this tonight, if this is for someone who reads the blog or for myself, but for some reason I know that I am to write this tonight and if there is one thing I have learned through "the well box" it is that when God speaks I want to obey.
On June 25th 2002 I had an ultrasound for our second child whom I have named Maluhia Lani, "Heavenly Peace". We found out on that day that our baby preceded us to Heaven. I had had friends who had miscarried and always ached for them but never really understood the pain of losing a baby. There are no words to describe the loss...nothing. My heart was broken but just as He always does (if we let Him) God met me where I was and brought Shane and I to a place of truly understanding "worship".
"The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away. Blessed be the Name of the Lord."-Job1:21b
As we drove from the Doctor's office to the hospital for another ultrasound to make sure that there was indeed no heartbeat, we sat in silence but I could hear the words in my head "Here we are standing in Your presence worshipping You, worshipping You. You are greater than the ocean, You are bigger than the sky, You are stronger than the river, there's nobody else who loves me like You do...here we are"
This was a Tuesday, they could not get me in for a D & C until the following Monday...for 6 days I was a living tomb for my unborn child. I walked around, went to the grocery store, to work, and to church knowing that my child was in my womb...dead. My life was changed in two huge ways once at church and once at Safeway.
I stood in the checkout line like a zombie, knowing we needed groceries but wanting to be crying on the couch at home. I stood there and looked at those around me as if the world was in slow motion. God was with me in line. I remember glancing around and thinking they have no idea, they look at me and have know idea that death is literally inside of me. It was in that moment that I have never looked at anyone the same...God showed me at Safeway that I have no idea the pain behind a face. Does their dad have cancer, has her husband left her for another woman, has she been trying to have a baby for years, was she abused as a child, can he not walk away from an addiction, did his father die without them ever reconciling. When I see people now who are angry, I no longer am annoyed by their rudeness, I wonder what happened to you today? When I see someone with the hollow look I am sure was in my own eyes, I say a prayer for whatever hurt they are facing. There is a world of hurting people and they are all around us if we choose to see them and sometimes a smile and a silent prayer is all we can give.
Church was a tough one. No one knew I was pregnant and after losing the baby I did not want to say anything except to immediate family. So on Sunday morning I went to church with a plastic smile and stood to sing our first praise song, "I'm trading my sorrows, I'm trading my shame, I'm laying them down for the joy of the Lord. I'm trading my sickness, I'm trading my pain..." Obviously God and Shane had met in the process of him working out his worship set and there I was starting to sing, when again the world moved to slow motion and tears filled my eyes and I stopped, unable to sing the words if I did not mean them. In that moment I knew a choice was to be made, am I going to praise the God who could have saved my child, who could have breathed life and stopped death. Can I stand here and truly worship with my hand on my womb. Can I say "Yes, Yes, Lord" to this? It was a moment in time that I knew I would never be the same, the beginning of a journey to the true meaning of worship that I would trade nothing for, not even a miracle. I would never have chosen to lose a baby, never wish it on anyone, yet at the same time would not trade the months of closeness with my Savior that the loss allowed. He surrounded me with Hope (thus the name of our daughter) in the midst of grief and gave me a compassion that I would never have understood otherwise and best of all He gave me a vision, of nail scarred hands holding a tiny, precious baby.

My Girls

I truly can't get over all the blessings of this journey!! Tonight my girls Miss McKenna and Miss Morgan brought me a cup of money for the well box. They, along with their friends Rayna and Hailey, raised money by having a lemonade stand at their house. I am so proud of you girls for doing something. That is what we have learned through all of this that whatever we can do is better than doing nothing at all...and because of all those little somethings we are going to do one very big thing!! Adding the girls $19.26 we are now at $4799.17

Thanks Grandma & Grandpa W

Grandma Cynthia and Grandpa Terry also had a "change jar". Apparantly this is something people do, Shane and I on the other hand enjoy our 44 ounce sodas with our spare change.
Anyways, not only did the parentals give us all of their change...they also matched it making their total contribution $198.36!!! On Saturday we were $1,000 away and today we are only $610.09 away, that was only 3 days ago! New total...$4779.91

I don't even know what to say...

So after our wonderful time at church and my awe of God's faithfulness we grabbed some lunch and hit the sand volley ball court for another tourney. While we were playing my Mom and Cynthia went to an open house in the area and began chatting with the realtor there. She was telling them about another house that was rather expensive and Cynthia said something about it being out of her price range and the realtor said dreams start somewhere (or something to that extent). Cynthia says yes they do let me tell you about my granddaughter's dream and goes on to tell her about The Well Box and how it started with a 6 year old and that the well would be through World Vision. Turns out that she is a World Vision sponsor and wants to write a check to The Well Box...and she does for $100!! A complete stranger to us until today!

This wonderful woman's name is Roz Anderson and she works for Remax. (if anyone is buying or selling a house you just might give her a call) Roz thank you sooo very much for your generosity I am truly overwhelmed. (And by the way I bought Three Cups of Tea 3 months ago and have not had the time to start it, until tonight, I am on chapter 2 and already inspired.)

Again I have to say that this journey has been so incredible as I see again the faithfulness of our Lord as we say "ok God this is big but You are bigger" and if we take that first small step He meets us right there with more than we could have ever asked or imagined...$4581.55!!

SPEECHLESS

It is not often that I find myself speechless, but that is exactly what happened this morning at church, I was speechless and brought to tears.
When I first pulled into the parking lot I saw Daryl and Kathy's grandkids playing on the playground and thought it was nice they were here and must be visiting for the day. After Praise instead of greeting right away we found out that Bryce and Summer (the grandkids) were going to play their fiddles for us, not out of the ordinary as they have done this at church before. I sat next to Damaris and smiled as I listened to these incredibly gifted children play a song. Then my dad came up and said that Bryce (11) and Summer (9) had seen on the Internet that there were many children in the world dying because of unclean water and immediately the tears filled my eyes as I knew that Kathy must have shown them The Well Box. Do you know what these children did? They told their parents that they wanted to help because they did not want children to die and so they made a sign "Playin for Water", made a jar with a slit on the top, and took their fiddles to the Saturday Market and played for four hours to raise money for The Well Box and they made $170.00!!! Can you even believe that? I am constantly humbled by the innocent faith of children who see a need and figure out a way to meet it. We have so much to learn from them. Thank you Bryce and Summer for listening to the Lord and having the faith to step out and make a difference! New total...$4481.55!

Holy Can!

We just did the math of how many cans we have taken back so far, are you ready...6,249!!! That is completely insane!!

GET OUT!!

Shane and Emmy were off to the Can Do machine again tonight with the bags from the barn and 8 new bags from Emmy's neighbors. They barely all fit into the Explorer so we knew it would be more than last time and it was $103.90!! That is an incredible amount of cans and thanks to Sharon at Fred Meyer we are adding $104 to the well box (she gave them an extra dime to make it even) making our grand total to date...$4311.05. I never expected to raise this much so quickly, I thought this would take us a few years to accomplish. Huge THANK YOU to all who have helped us, prayed for us, donated cans, ate our food, donated cash, bought our stuff, and donated stuff. This entire journey has taught us so much about faith, community, and being willing to step out of the ordinary to accomplish the extraordinary. We are only a little over $1,000 away...get out!!