Is it worth it?

Fostering littles the way we do and saying goodbye when they are so young, no matter the amount of time they are here, the harsh reality is that they will not remember us.  They won't remember the middle of the night feedings, the first steps that we rejoiced over, the silly songs we sing to make them laugh, the books we read, the birthdays we celebrated.
They will hopefully remember their siblings, Maris, Kruse and Hope but they never even know our names.  We are mom and dad, we define those names for them: love, protection, provision, laughter, hugs, bedtime kisses, and hopefully, most of all, their Heavenly Father's love.  They have a piece of our hearts forever and a year from now will not remember us.  In a few weeks Mom will have a new face, a different laugh, same love in another form.  Dad will still be protector, provider and fun, but not the same.  Selfishly sometimes I wish they would remember their years in our home, that they would just have a small memory of the joy and laughter and love we shared.  But deep down I know this is the best way, that this is why we are here in this season, to form attachments and bonding that will give them the ability to love and be loved for the rest of their lives....but the pain of loss is still so real...the hurt of being unknown when they were so known by us.  Every goodbye leaves me asking is this worth it? Is this ache in our hearts, the tears and sorrow worth it?  The soberness that seeps into all of life, the protecting of our hearts outside of foster care.  Is it all worth it?  All I really know is He is worth it.  The One who formed me in my mothers womb, who made me love big, who all my life prepared me for this calling, He is worth it.  And so we prepare to walk this road, reading and re-reading the verses that He used to call us here, it's lonely and heavy and sometimes feels like more than we can bare but it's also good and right and beautiful and holy and the most sacred moments of my life.  And so, we will grieve and heal and we will say yes again because He is worth it....and so are they.

We are the walking wounded

We are the walking wounded.  We are everywhere, behind you in the checkout line, 3 seats over in church, our kids go to school with your kids, we grew up together and laughed and loved before life became hard.  Our wounds don’t all look the same.  Some of us are innocent, some of us guilty.  Some of us have scars from this broken world, what was done to us, against us.  Some of us battle depression, an assault in our heart and mind.  Some of us the wounds come from words like, cancer, heart attack, death.  Some of us the scars are from other words like affair and divorce.  Some of us have followed a calling on our lives, taking us away from family, friends, and country, where days can be long and tiresome and results less than we hoped.  Some of us the call is in our own homes, pain so close you can touch it every day.  Some of us are mothers who have held our babies only in our hearts; we wonder who they would have looked like, the sound of their laugh.  Our wounds are different but the same.  They keep us up at night, they make Christmas hard.  Memories are our best friends and worst enemies, they sneak up on us, bring us to tears in a moment.  They make worship a holy experience.  They make us hold others at a distance.  They bring judgment, condemnation.  They make us who we are, how we see the world. 

There are some who share my wounds; their children have known me as mom.  Theirs, like some of ours, are wounds of choice.  They have chosen to satisfy their flesh, they are addicts of drugs, men, self.  Some of us have chosen to deny self, to satisfy Him who called, though it cost our hearts we follow.  Our wounds are shared.  We will miss the same children, the same smiles, the same sticky fingers.  We will whisper their names out loud in the night to not forget the sound of it on our tongue.  We will carry these scars our entire lives, we will always be mom and yet never be mom again. 

I pray He is with those who share my wounds….those that miss the same children I miss.  I pray they look up and find Him close, because He is.  He shares our wounds and loves the same children we love. 

We are the walking wounded and we are everywhere….but so is He.  He has overcome this broken world; He brings words of hope and peace.  For some of us He brings healing in this life, for some just the promise of it in the next.  For some of us He is found in the middle of the pain, when we can’t go on on our own, He is there, He binds are wounds and whispers His love.  He renews, He restores, He redeems.  For some of us comfort is in visions of babies being held by a Man with scars in His hands.  He is there in the night, He is Emmanuel.  He dries our tears.  He makes worship holy.  He brings others to our side.  He condemns every tongue that rises against us in judgment, for our righteousness is from Him. 

We are the walking wounded, different but the same.  We share wounds in this broken world….and by His wounds we are healed.

I used to say we had an adoption miracle, that the Holy Spirit did a miracle in our bonding with Hope, the magic kind of miracle.  I realize now that I was wrong....sorta.  I was selfish and blind and well, a bit ignorant.  Shane and I have always been a little embarrassed at how easy our transition was, like we were the poster children for a successful adoption.  Hope was 15 months when we met her and I'm pretty sure it took all of 6 hours for her to be completely attached, giggling, laughing, and snuggling, it's been over 7 years and we have never looked back.  And for years I have never thought of it as anything other than answered prayer that our transition was so smooth.  I thought only of Hope's birth mom, Emilia, as someone who grieved for her.  We pray for Emilia, we think of her and her heartache in letting go of her beautiful daughter, I wonder at the life she imagined for Hope, the life she knew she couldn't give.  I mourn for her loss and am thankful for her sacrifice, she alone is who I think of in the category of loss.  I take that back, there was one moment where I felt for another, a young lady whose name I may never know, who I have one picture of from Hope's final days at the orphanage.  I remember when we got it, so many years ago, I noticed the way she held Hope, the way her hands gently rested on her head, the look of love and loss in her eyes.  But if I'm honest I looked for a moment and then had eyes only for my daughter, I forgot her as soon as I saw her.  I had been waiting 13 months from our first picture of Hope and we were in the home stretch and all I knew was that she was almost mine. 
But now here I am, with a look of love and loss in my own eyes and the Lord reminded me of that picture from so long ago.  He showed me that He did do a miracle in our adoption with Hope, that the Holy Spirit did indeed allow us to bond with Hope in amazing ways.  He showed me that He used a beautiful young Haitian girl, who was willing to love a child that was not hers as if she was.  He asked her to love with all her heart even though her heart would break when she left, He whispered to her that He needed her help to give Hope a foundation to give and receive love.  He told her no one may ever know or acknowledge her pain, that her sacrifice would be great and she may never see the fruits of her heartache and she said yes.  You see when the Lord reminded me of this I was crying out to Him that He was asking too much of me.  How could He ask me to love so much knowing I would say goodbye?  Most people run from pain and here we are at a dead sprint toward it.  I wanted to close my heart, even a little, to not let these precious children who call me Mommy have any more.  I didn't want to watch Maris be a little mommy, speaking sweetly and reminding them how much Jesus loved them, I didn't want to see Kruse asking me what Soren was wearing so they could match and running around the house giving piggy back rides, I didn't want to see Hope in her new role as big sister, building forts, dancing to the Fresh Beat Band, pushing babies around the house, at break neck speed, on their little cars.  I didn't want to watch the twins jump up at the sound of Shane practicing worship to yell "Daddy, guitar" and dance at his feet, to see Starlea's face light up when he walked in the room.  I didn't want to see it because I didn't want to miss it everyday for the rest of my life.  I was tired, physically, emotionally and spiritually.  I was standing in my kitchen telling Him all the reasons I couldn't give any more and then He whispered, in the way He always does when I finally stop talking, I need you on the other side of adoption now.  He opened my eyes to our adoption, He showed me the miracle was that someone was willing to love a little girl with all her heart and that is why she was ready to receive my love.  It was the most beautiful thing I had ever heard and the only way that I knew we would get through this pain.  We are doing for someone else what was done for us, we are the miracle....not in an arrogant prideful way....in a broken, beautiful collision of love and redemption and His kingdom coming here and now. 
Everyday I learn more about the cost and sacrifice of foster care, we live in the tension of the beauty and heartache, every moment is sacred.  I know what those precious children looked like when they entered our home, you would never recognize them now.  They are healthy and happy and social and confident and silly and stubborn and they have found their voice, they are loved with every ounce of my being and by every member of this family and they are ready to go home.  I'll never forget the joy of bringing Hope home and in 2 days I will watch another family experience that joy and I have faith that they will also have a miracle, that they will feel like a family in the magic miracle sort of way.  I still don't know how to live in a world where I am not their mom, I still can't imagine not waking up to twin chatter, to never have Soren's chubby fingers on my face, to see Rayah love, to not have Starlea smiling at me at 5am.  The pain is still real and at moments paralyzing, but we endure the pain with our eyes fixed on Jesus.  He promised that when we bring into our house the poor that are cast out that He will guide us continually, He will satisfy our souls in drought, and strengthen our bones and make us like a well watered garden.  I'm clinging to His Word and His promises.  I'm on the other side of adoption now and that is where He needs me and my family and so that is where we will be.  And in case you are wondering there is a new picture hanging in Hope's room, a picture of a beautiful young woman who loved my daughter first.

Stop Child Trafficking Now Walk

This was such a great day! My mom, Melissa, Cynthia and I were the representatives walking from our friends and family. I was so blessed that they joined me and I know the more we all learn the more our hearts break for the innocent children enslaved in trafficking and prostitution in our own state.

After check-in we were welcomed and then had a few guest speakers, a representative from the Mayors office, a wonderful, passionate woman from Shared Hope International, Senator Wyden surprised the crowd. Apparently he is in campaign mode because there was a lot of yelling and promises to "crush" someone or something, I'm still not sure....but the best thing he said is that he was able to get $900,000 from the federal government to build a shelter/safe house for girls rescued from being trafficked. This is the most important thing that I have heard and read that is needed in Portland, so praise the Lord for this exciting news!! Melissa and I have decided we want to help in some way with the shelter....but what that looks like we are not sure yet, we will keep you posted:) But the greatest speaker was Jessica Richardson, who was introduced as a survivor of human trafficking, she made sure we understood that she was not merely a survivor but a conqueror! And there was wonderful music by a young man from Rwanda who lived through the Rwandan genocide and 6 years on the street post genocide. His music was beautiful, Enric Sifa is his name and I'm sure you could find him on the Internet and buy his c.d. Thanks so much to all who sponsored our team, we surpassed our goal and raise $430!!!

"He has shown you, O man, what is good and what the Lord requires of you, to do justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God." Micah 6:8

I will never forget the night I met Renu, I'll never forget her smile or the grace in which she told her story and I will never understand her capacity to forgive. When she was just 14 years old Renu was drugged by a family member and taken out of her home in Nepal and sold to a brothel in India. She literally woke up in captivity, her innocence brutally stolen, her story is one of pain, unimaginable horrors, rescue, love, and forgiveness. Someone dared to rescue Renu, they showed up in her nightmare and told her about a man named Jesus, she listened and fell in love and accepted Him as her Savior, but she was still a slave, her body used by 20 plus men a day. Outside she was dying yet her soul was renewed daily. Through miraculous circumstances Renu escaped and upon returning to her native Nepal she came face to face with the man who stole her childhood, her dreams, her future. She looked at this man and forgave him saying how could I, a sinner forgiven by Christ, not forgive him? Renu changed my life in many ways but perhaps most importantly she put a face on international human trafficking and sex slavery.
And then I read, Renting Lacey, which is about America's prostituted children and I associated a different face with child trafficking, my daughters. Maybe you were like me and did not think this could happen here in our country but the truth is at least 100,000 American juveniles are victimized through prostitution each year!! The book is horrifying in its true stories of girls that Linda has met with personally, stories so horrible you think they could not be true, but they are. I am haunted by what I have read, which is why I am sending you this email. Maybe you are like me and imagine that if you lived in times of slavery that you would have stood against it, I like to think that Angela Grimke and I would have been friends and fought slavery together. And maybe you cannot comprehend that just 50 years we still had legal segregation and again I imagine I would have walked with Dr. King, I would have boycotted and picketed, I would have stood on the lawn beyond the Lincoln Memorial and believed in a dream. And yet here we are, living in a time when, "more people are exploited in slavery today than were forcibly removed from Africa during 400 years of the trans-Atlantic slave trade. Worldwide the total market value of human trafficking is 32 Billion"-IJM
Why am I telling you all of this? This Saturday, October 2nd thousands of individuals in communities across the United States and Canada will participate in SCTNow Walks to raise funds and bring awareness to the issue of child trafficking. You can join my team, Worship Defined, and come walk with me in Portland or simply make a donation at:

http://sctnow.donordrive.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=donorDrive.team&eventID=652&teamID=6166


I know in many ways this is just a small step, a small donation against huge statistics, but my Bible says to "seek justice" and this is a tangible way in which to do that.

Malia

"Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke? Is it not to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter-- when you see the naked, to clothe him." Is. 58:6,7

Zion

Today I laid a dream on the altar and walked away. Laying it down, I have learned, is not the same as giving up, there is a difference. I'm not giving up, I'm obeying. The gentle whisper that I love to hear told me what I didn't want to hear. He told me to let go, to let go of what I was sure He wanted for my family, of what over the past few months I thought He was confirming. But I know this voice and it is Him who I do everything for and so today I packed up the last bit tangible hope that I have been holding on to and said, not my will but Yours be done. I gave my dream to the Dream Giver, I gave my desire to the only One who can satisfy, my heart to my True Love. It is not the first time I have placed something so precious into these nail scarred hands and I'm sure it will not be the last. Sometimes I'm overwhelmed by the mystery when I wish i was just overwhelmed by Him. But my understanding isn't necessary, my obedience is. So Lord I give you my precious Zion because that is what You asked me to do.

Psalm 126

1When the LORD brought back the captive ones of Zion,
We were like those who dream.
2Then our mouth was filled with laughter
And our tongue with joyful shouting;
Then they said among the nations,
"The LORD has done great things for them."
3The LORD has done great things for us;
We are glad.
4Restore our captivity, O LORD,
As the streams in the South.
5Those who sow in tears shall reap with joyful shouting.
6He who goes to and fro weeping, carrying his bag of seed,
Shall indeed come again with a shout of joy, bringing his sheaves with him.

Today is my birthday. I'm getting old:) I'm finding myself in a place I never thought I'd be at this age. Ending His Way and our entire focus of life for the past 12 years, searching for a church family, coming home from 3 weeks in Africa, it's been an emotional year for us.
And I'm finding myself knowing that church has nothing to do with a building, when we were walking at the CF walk last Sunday beside the friends that we have come to love as family, I told Shane it was the best church service I have been to in a long time. And I'm finding myself thinking about children a world away, wondering what I can do, little me, to help them go to school, to give them a chance to change their lives and in turn change their country for the glory of God.
And here it is my birthday and today I received gifts from those who I love that have blessed me beyond words. My parents gave me a pair of pajamas, and then they gave me clothes and slippers to send to Korah for my girls, Bakuset and Mesret. Jer and Jen are giving to the Mocha Club in my honor. Shane and the kids are cleaning my car, praise God!! Terry and Cynthia gave me a gift from Hawaii, the place I so love. And then tonight, I went to dessert with my girlfriends and have to share what an incredible present they gave me. I opened the bag to find a beautiful picture of a 19 year old girl and a baby boy. I stared at it knowing they were from Africa and wondering what it was. Well when I turned it over I read this:

"Malia, When you returned home from Ethiopia, you brought with you the heart of Korah and a love for her people- and you have shared it with all of us. And now, that love has settled in all of our hearts as well and so our gift to you on this birthday is the sponsorship of Hiwot Dasalaw, a 19 year old girl living in Korah with her son, who will now have the opportunity to be sent to a technical school that will change her life forever. This is our simple way of showing our love for you by giving it to another....in your honor. Thank you for loving all people the way that Christ calls us to. And thank you for sharing that love with your friends! We love you!!"





Unbelievable! I'm speechless, thanks everyone, I love you!

You can sponsor a young adult from Korah for a one time gift of $600. That's all it takes to change a life forever!! If you want more info just let me know.

Oh how I miss Korah...

I need Africa more than Africa needs me

So I just joined The Mocha Club....I know I'm at least 5 years late on this one but Africa changes you. I saw this video right before I left and thought about ordering a shirt (I order a shirt from everywhere) but the phrase was not true for me...yet. But now it is and my shirt came in the mail today and tonight I joined the club. It is only $7 a month and you can join my "team" at:

http://mochaclub.org/joinme/worshipdefined (Apparently you must cut and paste this)

I chose to support child mothers and women at risk so I would love for you to join me as we recognize that we are not just waiting for the rescue that is to come, but that we are the rescue here and now. That when Jesus prayed, "Your kingdom come, Your will be done on earth as it is in Heaven" Lk. 11:2 we realize that it is not His will that young girls be kidnapped, brutalized, raped, child mothers, or forced to prostitute themselves to feed their families. That Isaiah 58 calls us to. "to loose the bonds of wickedness, to undo heavy burdens, to let the oppressed go free, and that you break every yoke? Is it not to share your bread with the hungry, and that you bring to your house the poor that are cast out; when you see the naked that you cover him..." I love this video because it is true that they have a joy that defies their circumstances, it does not make sense that they should love so deeply, give so freely, worship so lavishly and yet they do. But that does not mean that we should not fight their injustices, that we should not defend their cause. More than anything it should shame us that we don't live that way with all that we have. Yes, in Korah I saw God's glory everywhere despite the poverty but seeing His glory does not mean that it is ok to leave them in the oppression. "Now this was the sin of your sister Sodom: she and her daughters were arrogant, overfed, and unconcerned; they did not help the poor and needy"Ezek. 16:49 I left for Africa disillusioned, disappointed, disgusted all words beginning with dis:)at America and certainly the modern church. "Americans spend 705 billion dollars on entertainment and recreation a year, it would take only 65 billion to eliminate the most extreme poverty on the planet for more than a billion people." Stearns. But oddly enough I came home hopeful, because we have it!! God had blessed our nation with the ability to change the world. And don't you think that we will draw all men unto Him by loving our neighbor as ourselves? by acting justly and loving mercy and walking humbly with our God? That many will see these people who hug lepers, feed the widow, send children to school and want to know this Jesus that inspires people to give time, money, a voice to those who have been so heavily burdened? Imagine what the world would do if they saw that kind of love acted out?

Why are we still here?

The night that the reality of the situation hit me and I knew that my 11 day mission trip was turning out to be a 3 week mission trip I was praying in my creaky bunk bed before falling asleep asking God, why are we still here? What do you still have for us? His whisper filled my heart, you have seen the depravity, the depths of the need, the brokenness. Now I want you to see My Glory. I saw myself kneeling at His throne, not completely sure what it meant but fell asleep satisfied with His answer. I began to look for it, His glory. Before I saw the injustice, the despair, the image of Christ searching for food at a dump but then I then began to see. It was in the laughter of children playing games, in the sound of pepsi and fanta bottles clanking in cheers, it was in the firmness of Bakuset’s grip on my arm and the gentleness of Mesret’s hand in mine. It was in the way Fitsum looked at Tracey and the way Toni looked at Mahalet. It was in the sound of Pastor Anthony’s voice praising God in a language I did not understand, in Sammy feeding a leper who had no hands, letting him lick enjera off his own fingers. It was in the worship, songs sung with joy and dancing. It was in the eyes of a mother knowing that HIV would take her life and wanting to give her daughter a life she couldn’t give. It was in the eyes of the chosen parents as they tried to understand this kind of love. It was in the laughter over Laurie’s stories, keeping our hearts from breaking. It was in the men of Korah as they love these children, in Busy’s sincerity, in Mike’s gratefulness, in Mastwell’s smile. It was in the homes of Korah, they lacked running water, doors, windows, light, space, decorations…but there was no lack of His glory. It was in the way they welcomed us in, having us sit with them. It was in the strength of their will and the wetness of tears on my cheeks. It was in the jewelry shoved on my fingers, wrists, and even in my ears, the gifts from those who have nothing. And most of all it was in the words of Aster, as she attempted to comfort me, laying her hand on her chest and said, Jesus love. I thought poverty consumed Korah but I was wrong, it is the glory of God.

So very much to share and I promise it will come soon, but for now I am spending my time loving on my kids and catching up on my sleep. For now here is my last email and pics of the girls.

Korah. Last week I felt sorry for children living at the dump, today I love these children. Last week I walked through houses of strangers and was horrified that people had to live this way, today I walked into the homes of the girls who have braided my hair, taught me to count in their language, made me laugh, taught me games, and stolen my heart. Today it was personal. I sat on the bench next to meseret and cried, "Malia, no cry" her and aster said together. they also said this to me multiple times at church this morning. I was trying to hold it together, believe me. but how do you? when you have spent the last 10 days getting to know someone and somehow not computed that they too live in these unimaginable circumstances. I cried off and on through the homes of aster, senet, fruit, askala, habtume, betty, and more. As the girls were trying to comfort me and telling me not to cry, Aster looked at me and said, "Malia, no cry" she then put her hand on her chest and said "Jesus, love". can you imagine? but Aster is right. I then tried to explain "I'm crying because i love you" "I love you too." they said. today my heart is beyond broken and beyond full, I'm so glad a volcano erupted in Iceland and let be be in this moment...for such a time as this.


Me and Aster

Meseret, my girl and sweet Shwaye

Bakuset, who stole my heart the first day at the dump

Entebbe

We are here at the guest house. It's like a scene from a movie....dark and humid, we are all sitting at a long table with candles and a lantern as our only light. Our rooms are simple and clean and I will sleep my first night under a mosquito net, can't wait! We are enjoying this night of beauty before we leave these walls and go to our first orphanage tomorrow and see the little faces that have called us here.

Thank you Mrs. Bittner's 2nd grade class for your notes, we loved them! And girls I have not cheated and am only reading my notes on the days you told me to...i love them and you, thanks. Hopefully we will have wifi tomorrow and show you pictures of Alice's orphanage and Katie.

I miss you and love you.

Here is some links to where we are staying and going:

1st night http://www.tripadvisor.com/Hotel_Review-g298044-d816261-Reviews-Airport_Guesthouse_Entebbe-Entebbe.html

http://www.traveluganda.co.ug/entebbeairportguesthouse/index.html


2nd, 3rd night http://www.hostels.com/hostels/kichwamba/kingfisher-lodge-kichwamba/18840

4th night http://www.canaanchildrenshome.org/ youtube at canaans http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SNU-W9dyfaw&NR=1

rest of time http://www.ethiopiaguesthome.com/home.html

Korah city dump we will be here for 1 day http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-

Journey to Africa

I have so much to say and have waited too long to say it...so here is my condensed version. As you can read by my last posts I my heart has been drawn to Uganda ever since I saw Invisible Children's Rough Cut a few years ago. The phrase, “Someday I’m going to go to Uganda”, has been heard coming out of my mouth many times over the past few years. In early January I felt the Lord tell me that I can go now, that someday is here. I was so excited I couldn't’t wait to tell Shane, and to my wonderful surprise he said ok let’s look into it. There were two things that I wanted to do, either meet the young boy we support through World Vision or visit Katie Davis of Amazima Ministries. On the morning of January 12th I spoke to World Vision about the process of going to meet Akileo and then as you know the night of January 12th we were glued to the tv and Internet watching the destruction in Haiti. It seemed maybe I was mistaken in going to Uganda. Haiti needed us - our prayers, our attention and our money. I put Uganda on the back burner and we focused on raising money for Haiti, which God in His goodness moved His people to give more than $3,000 at Worship for Haiti!!!

Then my friend, Jennifer, sent me an email saying, Malia I think you need to go on this trip. I clicked on the link and who do you think we are going to serve with in Uganda? Yep, Katie and Amazima Ministries!! I told Shane and he said I had to go, and I agreed. And now I am leaving tomorrow!!

My friend Cherrie is traveling with me from Portland and we are meeting up with our friend Toni in Amsterdam...along with 8 other people from across America that we have never met:) Sounds a little like our trip to Haiti.

My children are set with my wonderful friends taking turns picking them up from school and watching them until Shane is off work. I just spent the last hour writing them little notes for every night I'm gone...and I bought them each a disposable camera to take pictures while I'm gone so I don't miss a thing. $20 bucks says Hope's is done in a day:) I will miss them so very much but I know Shane will do a great job and they will have so much fun with their many play dates.

So last Friday Shane, Rick, Cherrie, and my parents and I filled up the "totes" we are bringing to the orphanages, dump, Amazima, and other ministries that we will be visiting. Thanks to Cherrie, aka the shoe lady, and my wonderful friends and family we loaded up 250 lbs of shoes, medicine, underwear, food, and more shoes. It is a good thing Shane was there, as he is "spacial", he loaded the tubs to perfect weight to be let aboard the airplane.








Thank you my wonderful friends for taking care of my kids while I'm gone, I love you.




and to the two that created this monster:) I love you,



I love you Shane,

and Maris,



and Kruse,


and Hope.


Here is out itinerary:


Day 1 Arrive in Entebbe, and check into the Entebbe Airport Guest Home
for one night.

Day 2 Breakfast at the guest home and pick up by Canaan’s Children
Home bus by 9 AM and proceed to My Father’s House orphanage to
drop off donations. Head to Jinja. Check into the King Fisher and
eat lunch. Work at a small orphanage of 25 kids run by Alice. until 4
PM. Enjoy a boat ride to the source of the Nile. In the evening, a
few team members should help Katie Davis with setting up the food
and anything else she needs for the feeding program on Saturday.
Day 3 Join Katie by 9:30 AM for the feeding program all day. Pick up at 4
PM. Dinner at King Fisher Lodge.
Day 4 Check out of the King Fisher Lodge. Church with Pastor Isaac and
day with the children. Stay at Canaan’s Children Home.
Day 5 Spend the day with the Canaan Children’s Home children.
Day 6 Breakfast and good-byes at Canaan’s. Head to Kampala. Lunch at
the mall (exchange money at the bank) and shopping at the market.
Arrive at the airport by 3:30 PM or 4 and head to Ethiopia.
Day 7 Arrive around noon in Addis. Check into the Ethiopia Guest Home
and eat a late lunch. Proceed to the impoverished Bole Bulbula area
of Addis to work with the children. Dinner out at a restaurant of
choice.
Day 8 Mother Theresa HIV orphanage and AHope HIV Orphanage. Dinner
at the EGH.
Day 9 The new AWA Transitional Home to paint mural and Kids Kare
orphanage. Dinner out at the Traditional Ethiopian Resturant
Day 10 Korah city dump to work with kids. Dinner at the EGH.
Day 11 Shop in the morning. Work with the Dahley Community Project
ministry. Head back to EGH for clean up, packing and dinner. Leave
for airport for check in by 7:00 PM. Flight at 10:50 PM

Will post pictures when we have internet...

Isn't this pendant beautiful?! You can buy it and others like it at: http://www.etsy.com/shop/junkposse

With this pendant specifically $25 is donated to Habitat for Haiti....well go get one!

Speechless

It's not often that I am speechless, but today I was. Jacob was all that I wanted him to be and more. I still can't believe that I met him today. When he was done speaking Cherrie and I went to meet him and when we were about ten feet away I stopped walking and told Cherrie that I couldn't talk, how do you even begin to try to explain to someone, whom you have never met, that they have completely changed your life. That because of them you will never be the same. How do you say that without sounding like a crazy stalker? She said "Malia, you have to talk to him!!" and literally pulled me a few steps toward him. He was so sweet and talked to us for quite a while and we hugged, twice:). We then got to have lunch with him and the roadies and had a question and answer session. So pretty much it was, as my niece says, "the greatest day ever!" I'm pretty sure my smile says it all...

SHUT UP!!!

I'm freaking out right now...freaking out!! So my love for Uganda all started the night I watched Invisible Children a few years ago. Specifically with a young boy named Jacob on the film. At any moment on any day I can hear Jacob crying, literally I can close my eyes and hear the sound of a sorrow I have ever heard in my life. He was told not to cry by the LRA and in this moment while being filmed he breaks down and I promise you if you watch it you will never be the same. Jacob is Uganda to me. And now here I am, less than a month to travel, and I'm thinking about Jacob so naturally I go to Invisible Children's website to see what is new and they have a new Legacy Tour. It says, "10 Stories transformed by war. 10 Advocates for peace. 10 Tours across America" So I click on NW and who do you think is on our tour!?!?!? Are you freaking kidding me, Jacob. Jacob is on our tour, Jacob is going to be at George Fox University on Wednesday, this Wednesday, I am going to see Jacob on Wednesday, 3 weeks before I go to Uganda I am meeting Jacob. Shut up!

This is a brief history of Invisible Children and you can meet Jacob here:



This has a little more of Jacob...



I am so very excited to meet Jacob, but the reality is Joseph Kony is still out there. Jacob has been rescued but there are tens of thousands of children still in Uganda being kidnapped, forced to kill, raped, maimed, and murdered by the LRA and we cannot sit here and pretend that it is not happening...

God gave me an analogy that has helped me so much. I was thinking about the parable of the talents:

"Again, the Kingdom of Heaven can be illustrated by the story of a man going on a trip. He called together his servants and gave them money to invest for him while he was gone. He gave five bags of gold to one, two bags of gold to another, and one bag of gold to the last--dividing it in proportion to their abilities--and then left on his trip. The servant who received the five bags of gold began immediately to invest the money and soon doubled it. The servant with two bags of gold also went right to work and doubled the money. But the servant who received the one bag of gold dug a hole in the ground and hid the master's money for safekeeping."After a long time their master returned from his trip and called them to give an account of how they had used his money. The servant to whom he had entrusted the five bags of gold said, `Sir, you gave me five bags of gold to invest, and I have doubled the amount.' The master was full of praise. `Well done, my good and faithful servant. You have been faithful in handling this small amount, so now I will give you many more responsibilities. Let's celebrate together!'...."Then the servant with the one bag of gold came and said, `Sir, I know you are a hard man, harvesting crops you didn't plant and gathering crops you didn't cultivate. I was afraid I would lose your money, so I hid it in the earth and here it is.' "But the master replied, `You wicked and lazy servant! You think I'm a hard man, do you, harvesting crops I didn't plant and gathering crops I didn't cultivate? Well, you should at least have put my money into the bank so I could have some interest. Take the money from this servant and give it to the one with the ten bags of gold. To those who use well what they are given, even more will be given, and they will have an abundance. But from those who are unfaithful, even what little they have will be taken away.

So I was thinking about being an American and why I have been born into a country of such wealth. Why me? What did I do to deserve this? Just because of where I was born I have countless opportunities and basic necessities, clean water, food, safety, etc. And then I started thinking about this parable and how living in America is like a talent. What am I going to do with this talent? Am I going to bury it? Live in suburbia ignoring the pain and suffering and disease that is rampant throughout the world? Ignoring the fact that over 26,000 children die a day due to preventable causes? Or am I going to invest this talent? Am I going to choose to invest in organizations helping the poor, to not live by the world's standards of accumulation of stuff but to give as I have been given? I do not have this figured out but I am ready to say ok Lord this is Your money and I am no longer going to spend unwisely on me and my family, we want to invest in Your Kingdom on earth, right now.

"We can be the generation that no longer accepts that an accident of latitude determines whether a child lives or dies- but will we be that generation? Will we in the West realize our potential or will we sleep in the comfort of our affluence with apathy and indifference murmuring softly in our ears? Fifteen thousand people dying needlessly every day from Aids, TB, and malaria. Mothers, fathers, teachers, farmers, nurses, mechanics, children. This is Africa's crisis. That it's not on the nightly news, that we do not treat this as an emergency- that's our crisis.
Future generations flipping through these pages will know whether we answered the key question. The evidence will be the world around them. History will be our judge, but what's written will be up to us. We can't say our generation didn't know how to do it. We can't say our generation couldn't afford it. And we can't say our generation didn't have reason to do it. It's up to us."-Bono


Found this Pastor from Katie at Amazima and then my friend Jen just put this on her blog, had to share. I have listened to the first 3 sermons, they are amazing, convicting, inspiring, life changing. What I love about this man is that he is not claiming to have every answer. He speaks from a place of personal conviction, he is vulnerable and real. He brings the conviction of our hearts and what God has been moving us towards into this series that leaves us in a place of choice. And the series is overloaded with scripture, I love it!!

Dance Party!!!

So Shane went out for dinner tonight with his friend, so it was just me and the kids for dinner...we had great harvest bread. Yeah, that's it. There was no fruit, no vegetable, no protein, we decided to go straight carbs and fat. Fresh apple crunch bread toasted and dripping in butter, nice! Hope and I were done after two pieces while the other two just kept eating. So Hope says, "Mom can we listen to Whitney Houston?" Ummm heck yes we can. Normally we have to wait until after dinner to have music because everyone sings along even while their mouths are full and this leads to food spewing across the table and such. So Hope and I decided to serenade the other two. As you can see below we are just getting to the good part!






And then Nani had to join in the dancing...




No dance party is complete without a little Jackson 5 and Blame it on the Boogie!! Jennyth, Kruse wanted to make sure you saw his moon walk:)



I like to take things to the next level, as you can see. Look at Kruse looking at me, the embarrassment will continue my son. Seriously, there is a reason I can't sing. I would be the crazy old lady trying out for American Idol for 7 straight seasons! HA!! My eyes are closed!! Like in that Hugh Grant movie...About a Boy.



break dancing



Incidentally the night ended in tears as Hope said, Mom take a picture of me jumping off the chair! To which I promptly replied, OK!!!! Yeah, then Kruse walked by right as she jumped and she landed on him, it was then the "worst night ever" and our party was over...

Mother Teresa HIV Orphanage

It is less than a month now until I go to Africa. So many emotions, so much anticipation. Tonight as i was praying about going to Mother Teresa's Orphanage I was overwhelmed at the thought.

"Such a beautiful day . . . to meet Christ face to face in the poor. He was there -- the hungry, the sick, the naked Christ -- and the thought of Him in this distressing disguise gave me great joy, peace and strength. The greatest disease is not TB or leprosy, but the feeling of being uncared for, unwanted, deserted by everyone. The greatest disease is the lack of love. The unwanted are hungry -- not for food -- but for love. They are thirsty, not just for water, but for peace. They are homeless, not just for shelter, but for understanding. Be the living expression of kindness -- kindness in your face, your eyes, your kind greeting. Let no one go away from you without being better and happier." -Mother Teresa.

We will spend only one day at this orphanage, one day...is it long enough to change anything? to love a child for a day, it seems impossible to imagine. I don't want to be a tourist to despair, to walk through and pity, I want to...what? I don't know, change it all, bring them home, heal them, but none of this is in my power...Christ in His most distressing disguise...in the emaciated child, the innocent born with a death sentence, the children living with HIV.

Sometimes I don't know why I am going to Africa, really what is the point of an 11 day trip, am I changing anything? I have moments that I am so excited to go and then I think why am I excited to see poverty like i have never known, to walk into orphanages where children will never leave to a forever family, to witness the innocent living in dumps, is this really something to be excited about? Its an odd place to be, but I am excited. I don't really have a lot of gifts...I make the best chocolate chip cookies ever and I can talk for hours, that's pretty much all I got...except love. I can love, especially a child. I know that I will fall in love with every child I see, with every pair of dark eyes staring at me. I guess right now that is my plan for this orphanage, to love the way God created me to. To see the child behind the sickness, to find the joy beyond the circumstance, to see God's sovereignty in their reality. To make a child smile, if only for a day, to let them know a mother's touch, kiss, hug and pray that it will be enough.

Jen, this is for you

This could be you and me!!



The dock




The Beach



The boat